Just Let It Go Already
by Grand Phoenix
Summary: It's not that hard, Homura! [Post-Rebellion; crack; yuri subtext; OOC]


_A/N: Just a little something I cooked up after watching _Rebellion _and various "Let It Go" parodies on YouTube. I've never seen _Frozen_, but it was all anybody talked about when it was in theaters. Saying that something has "gone viral" is like saying there's a pandemic going around and the whole world's catching it (but that's pretty much the point behind it)._

_The only thing to note is that Sayaka let everyone in on what Homura did at the end of the movie, because I found it odd that it was just her who retained her memories of that incident but the others didn't._

_As with all my M-rated humor/parodies, it's chock full of language and the content within might be offensive to some. But don't take any of them seriously. I just write these for fun and see how over-the-top and crazy I can make them (which is relatively tame, if I had to be honest with myself)._

* * *

"You know I'm surprised you've gone this far without getting arrested," Kyoko said, munching on a French fry. "Fuck, the fact that she hasn't caught on is astounding. I don't know whether I should feel bad or concerned."

"Are you going to try and stop me?" Homura asked bitingly. She was idly spinning a large-sized cup of soda in her hands, for the most part untouched and grown warm; the ice had long since melted. "Are any of you going to attempt to get in my way?" She looked at all of them—Kyoko, Sayaka, Mami, and Nagisa—pointedly, challengingly. "Regardless of what you do, it won't matter. I am, after all, the God of this new world, and what God wants _God gets_."

Kyoko flailed her arms with wild, exaggerated abandon. "Watch out, everybody, we have ourselves a badass!"

"You _tore_ Madoka from the Law of Cycles," said Sayaka, "and rewrote the laws of the universe. Seeing her as she is now" a normal, unassuming high school girl, ignorant of her godly powers "isn't good enough for you?"

"You don't get it, do you? She can't do _anything_ to me. Nothing. And so long as she stays that way, she's free to pursue whatever she wants. Her happiness is my happiness." Homura nodded sagely.

"Even if it means getting sweet with some random guy from school?" Kyoko gestured across the restaurant, and they all followed the dangling, half-eaten fry directed at Madoka. Shy, soft-spoken Madoka, who was having an innocent conversation with a boy her age at a table by the window. So youthful. Much love. So wow.

"I think her horns are showing, senpai!" Nagisa noted to Mami.

"Yes, they certainly are," Mami agreed.

Homura's hands closed around the cup and squeezed. Her gaze could cause even the bravest of men to piss themselves raw with fear. "Who does that punk think he is? He'll ruin her for life!"

"They look like they're getting along swimmingly," said Sayaka.

"Considerably so," said Mami, and took a sip from the glass of tea. "Perhaps it will become something more, in time?"

"That's how all friendships start out," Homura growled. The Styrofoam cracked, and little rivulets of soda leaked and poured over her hands. "It's innocent for the first few months, maybe a year or so. Then it blossoms into _love_," she spat, "which in turn leads to them pledging that _love_ in the name of _holy matrimony_," Her pupils dilated. "What they do next thing hinges on the stability of their _relationship_, you see. They can either fuck 'til they drop and pop a few little monsters and live their merry lives in relative peace…_OR!_ Madoka can come home from the doctor one day, saying she wasn't _feeling well_, she couldn't keep _anything down_, but that _it'll be worth it_ because she's _pregnant_; and Pretty Boy McGee over there will be all 'that's great, congratulations, I'm gonna be a father!', and they all go to sleep feeling all hunky-dory about themselvse…only for Madoka to wake up the next day, find one of those damn Post-It notes that _NEVER SEEM TO FUCKING STICK_ on their brand spankin' new refrigerator, and learn that _ASSHOLE MCGEE_ left her because he _WASN'T READY_, it was all _A BIG MISTAKE_ and that is something I will not allow to happen!" She looked at them in turn, frowning deeply, and a muscle throbbed erratically on her left eyelid. "Do you agree with me?!"

They all looked at each other, their expressions unreadable. Then they looked back at Homura.

"You're a hypocrite," said Kyoko.

"You have issues," said Sayaka.

"You need therapy," said Mami.

"And there's the tail!" exclaimed Nagisa.

Homura sniffed and turned her nose up at them. "I don't expect you to understand how I feel."

"We understand that if you want someone to experience the fullest of that happiness, she should do so without the interference of external influences," said Mami, "even if hurts them to let her go."

"And you're certainly not letting Madoka go," said Sayaka, and then her features hardened. "Some friend you are, _God_."

"Even if you what did was wrong," said Nagisa, "you shouldn't get in the way of her happiness, and that's very selfish."

Now a tic appeared her right eyelid. It jumped and quivered as if in the throes of a seizure. "I-It's not selfish! I'm merely looking out for her!"

Kyoko pulled noisily on her drink and smacked her lips, wiped them with the back of her hand. "Oh yeah, nonconsensual love is _so_ _very _selfless. Keep your friends and your enemies closer and all that jazz."

"I did it all for her!"

"And she doesn't remember a _goddamn thing_." Kyoko pushed herself away from the table with her legs and bounced to her feet. "You're a sack of shit, you know that?"

"I don't care what you think. If it means I must become a monster to preserve her happiness, then I will gladly play the role!"

"Then go ahead. Make her happy." Kyoko gestured once more at Madoka and her classmate. "Show 'Asshole McGee' there how much she means to you."

Homura shook with barely restrained rage. Her cheeks flushed a deep scarlet. "B-Bitch!"

"C'mon! What are you waitin' for? Go over there before they get up and leave!"

Her fingers punched through the Styrofoam, and the rivulets became streams of gushing sugar and carbonation. "I'm getting there!"

"Well as God of the New World, you're pretty awful slow!"

Nagisa tugged on Kyoko's shirt, glancing surreptitiously at their surroundings. "Um, you're sort of causing a scene." There were people looking their way, and a low susurrus began to drown out the music playing on the overhead speakers.

But she shook the younger girl off, firmly but not unkindly. "It's cool, it's cool. This is exactly what we need right now!"

Mami's eyes widened. "You're _still_ going to go through with it?" she asked incredulously.

"Of damn course I'm gonna go through with it! God ain't in her place and all is not right with the world! She needs to step up or shut up! Don't you think so, Sayaka?!"

"I'd rather not go full ham and destroy the one good fast food establishment this side of Mitakihara," said Sayaka, patting her belly, "but I'm all for getting in her face." She glared at Homura, who responded with an arrogant flip of her hair with one hand and a raised middle finger with the other.

Kyoko looked down at Nagisa. "Listen up, squirt! Back in the nineties, legend says that whenever two people got into a spat they solved it with their fists—not like today, where almost every day out of the week some troubled kid comes into school with a gun and opens fire. But there's another method to conflict resolution, an age-old tradition that carries on into the ever-changing present that doesn't always result in drive-by shootings and frequent government censorship."

"Peaceful negotiations?"

"No! It is the power of memes! Viral sensations perpetrated by the constant trending of global social media!" Kyoko nodded at Sayaka. "Take out…the boombox!"

Sayaka bent over and retrieved a duffel bag from beneath the table. "Oh man, I hope you can hold those notes. I spent three days listening to that damn song and tryin' to come up with the right lyrics." She stood up, placed the bag on a clear space, and unzipped it. A box of subwoofers and black plastic was brought out, catching the light of the lamps. It was a thing of technological, post-2000s beauty.

Mami grabbed Kyoko by the wrist. "Think about what you're doing! This is an Internet meme we're exacerbating! People don't want to be reminded of it every time they turn on the news or see it in their list of popular videos on YouTube, especially when that meme evolves into an earworm!"

"It's a risk worth taking and one that I don't regret. Sayaka and I are not responsible for any irreparable damage we might cause."

"But Kyoko—!"

"It'll be alright. Look, I have earplugs if you want 'em." She dug into her pockets and held out small plastic bags of the things. "And I didn't open them this time."

"That shit never works!" Mami yelled, and Kyoko flinched, dropping the earplugs in favor of covering her smarting ears.

"Kyoko, the box is on and ready to go," said Sayaka. "It's on you."

"Good! You remember your lines, right?"

"We haven't even started and the song is already playing in my head. How can I not know them?"

"All the better to knock Queen Bitch off the peak of Mount Bitch into the fiery pits of Bitch Hell!" Kyoko hopped on top of the chair and, arms akimbo, leered nastily at Homura. "Sounds about right, don't it, Bitch-sama?"

"I should have killed you all when I had the chance," Homura grumbled.

"And miss out on our wonderful ode to you? No can do, _milady_!" She turned to Sayaka. "Start it!"

Sayaka nodded. "Madokami, I hope you can hold all those notes. Last thing we need is you cracking your voice and paying for broken windows with money you don't even have." She pressed the play button, and a familiar strain of piano blasted from the speakers.

Mami buried her face in her hands. "Oh, I can't watch!" she groaned.

"This is it," murmured Nagisa, and although she spoke it quietly her words were heard by all. Every conversation and light gossip was silenced by the music. Some people were taking out their cell phones and either snapping pictures or getting ready to record the unfolding scene. "The moment of truth!"

At the same time, Homura looked between Kyoko and Sayaka, bored and unimpressed. "Really? Is that what this has come down to? Singing an overrated Disney song?"

Kyoko grinned like the Cheshire cat, took in a lungful of air, and, instead of belting it out as Homura was expecting, she said, quite melodiously—

"Actually, you know what? Fuck this." Homura leaned over and pressed the STOP button on the player, cutting the music short. "I don't need someone with poor vocal stability"—and she glared at Kyoko— "to belt out half-assed lyrics to know how you really feel." A wave of susurrus stirred from the crowd, curious and confused.

Sayaka threw her hands up in the air. "Didn't you just say you didn't care about any of that?"

"I did."

"Well you must, because you're ready to throw a bitch fit over it!"

Now both eyelids twitched simultaneously. "Bitch fit…?"

"Yes! Bitch fit! Titty fit! Let me have my moment to shine!" She hit the PLAY button, and the sound of the piano returned.

Homura stopped the music again. "You don't understand. When either of you open your mouth all that's going to come out is a cat screaming itself hoarse while in heat, and _that_ is something I will not allow in my world. A world that Madoka can live in. _In peace_."

Kyoko sputtered indignantly. "I-I-In heat?! What the fuck—" She was balancing on one foot on the chair, and her sudden movements sent her twisting around like a tree in the wind, arms flailing and leg kicking out lamely.

Nagisa frowned, shoulders visibly sagging. "So you're not going to sing?"

"She isn't, dear," Homura interjected before Kyoko could say a word, and smiled at her and Sayaka a smile dripping with unspoken threats of bodily harm. Sayaka promptly flipped her off with both fingers. "No one is."

Everyone jumped when Mami slammed her hands on the table and pressed her forehead to the table in a poor attempt to bow. "OH THANK GOD!" she cried. "I don't want to hear them! I can't stand it! All my dreams in the past week have been nothing but them rehearsing, birds dropping dead from the sky, and some Spanish guy running around town trying to hide a stash of weed he has no use for! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!" She lifted her face to reveal tear-stained cheeks and a quivering, radiant smile.

Homura's smile diminished, and now it was a tight, little thing, full of triumph and arrogance. "Yes. That's right. Thank me. Thank your one and only god and overlord—"

"Homura?"

She jumped, whirled around, and her mind went blank at seeing Madoka. Asshole McGee stood behind her, scratching his cheek and looking away, embarrassed and perhaps thinking (and rightly so!) he should stay out of this (good!). She wrung her hands together, as if to considering what to say. Then, "Um, I don't mean to be pry, but…what are you doing?"

Homura opened her mouth, but no words came out.

And in her mind, where all the mini-Homuras worked twenty-four-seven to keep her godling form functioning and two steps ahead of every other insignificants gnat in the world, one little Homu stopped what she was doing and flipped over the table she was sitting at, sending loads of paperwork scattering everywhere. "ABORT! ABORT!" she screamed, and chaos ensued.

On the outside, Homura was trying (and utterly failing) at staying calm, her face struggling to maintain its neutral façade. She lifted the fingers of her left hand. "Wanna see a magic trick?"

"Eh? A…magic trick?"

Yes, Captain Obvious. "Yeah. When I snap my fingers, you and everyone in this restaurant will forget this ever happened. Are you ready? Watch closely!" And, under her breath, she rumbled darkly, "It'll be over before you know it."

"What?"

Sayaka was up and on the table in seconds, reaching for Homura's hand. "Run away, Madoka! She's going to—!"

"BAZINGA!" Homura cried, and she snapped her fingers.

Way in the back of the restaurant, behind the cash registers and the lines of people placing and waiting for their orders, something sparked. An employee swore loudly. Then there was another spark, a third, a fourth, and suddenly the air took on a smoky haze.

A second employee screeched to a halt at the counter, nearly toppling ass over kettle in his mad dash. "FIRE!" he yelled. Immediately following that, the ovens exploded, one by one. The fire alarm went off and droned incessantly. The sprinklers activated.

Homura snapped her fingers again. "FUCK!"

Without warning, Kyoko's hair caught on fire. "HOLY SHIT!" She lost her footing and toppled off the chair onto the floor. Madoka yelped and hopped back as the older girl rolled around.

Sayaka threw herself over the boombox. "_What the fuck_ are you doing?!" she shouted over the panicked screams and stampeding feet of the crowd. "Get your shit together!"

"Shut up, I got this under control!" Homura bit back, and snapped her fingers a third time. The overhead lamps blew out, and Mami pulled Nagisa away as glass rained down.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" On her knees, Kyoko snagged Mami's glass of tea and poured it over her head. The flames emitted a serpentine hiss as they were doused. She heaved a dramatic sigh and shook her hair out. Then she grabbed Homura's wrist and yanked it toward her, just as she was ready to snap her fingers. "No! No more! If you're gonna play Samantha Stephens, twitch any part of your body and fix this! I don't care if it's your nose, your toes or your tits! Don't use your fucking hands!"

Homura ripped out of her grasp. "I know what I'm doing!"

"Like hell you do! You do that again and you'll have this whole place crashing down on us!"

"You guys can argue as much as you like later," said Mami, and coughed into her sleeve. The air was growing thick with smoke. "We have to go! Now!"

"The roof is on fire!" Nagisa yelled.

"Now's not the time to joke around, Nagisa!"

"No, really, the roof is on fire!" The girl pointed up at the ceiling, and they all looked to see that, indeed, that was the case. "Come on, Mami, I know better than to act like a clown in these kinds of situations!"

"Well screw you guys, I'm out of here!" said Homura, rising to her feet. She turned around. "Madoka, if you value your life you'll come with—where the _fuck_ are you going with her?!"

Asshole McGee was next to Madoka, his hand clasped in hers, his face lined with worry and urgency. He looked up at her, and clucked his tongue in a no-nonsense manner. "What anyone with common sense would do! I'm not leaving Madoka-chan behind!"

All the anger drained out of her. Dark hair curtained her eyes. "…What did you just call her?"

Asshole stepped back, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck and arms standing to attention. In the midst of the accumulating heat, a cold sweat fell upon him. "Madoka-chan…that's her name, right?"

Her hands curled into fists.

Madoka reached out to her. "Homura…?"

"Oh…your God," said Sayaka, her stare wide and nearly a thousand yards long. "She's speechless…!"

"Everybody, quick! Be like a hormonal teenage boy and beat it!" Kyoko vaulted over the tabled and made a beeline for the nearest window.

_"Ohhhhhh shiiiiiit!"_ Mami swore, and ran, Nagisa high-tailing after her.

"Goddamn it, Homura!" said Sayaka, abandoning the boombox—and her lyrics—to its fate.

Homura swiped the hair from her tear-stained eyes, biting at her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. "I HATE YOU ALL!" She snapped her fingers with both hands.

Now if this were a Michael Bay film, the restaurant would've blown to Kingdom Come in high-definition, finely-detailed slow motion: Glass shattering, walls bursting outward, the balls of blazing red-orange flames rolling after our young heroines (and one nameless, faceless Asshole McGee) to consume their virgin flesh and bones. And then, as time returns to its normal speed, you'd see that shit happening from thirty-six different angles in the span of sixty seconds.

All it took was two seconds for Kyoko, Sayaka, Mami and Nagisa to bust through the windows and get thrown across the street from the heat of the blast. Madoka and Asshole barely made it through the door before they were picked up and hurled onto the pavement.

No eagle-eye or worm's eye view here, folks.

When they beheld the building, all that was left standing was its burning, skeletal structure. And Homura was gone.

Madoka crawled out from beneath Asshole's body and gazed fearfully at the wreckage. "No, Homura! Homura! Where are you?" She sniffed and dashed the tears from her eyes. "No…don't tell me she's….!"

She felt something grab her ankle, and she looked down to see Kyoko shaking her head. "Don't worry 'bout her, kid. She's alright. Just took off somewhere to go and sulk. Like a right ole bitch."

"H-How do you know?"

"Believe us, we know," said Sayaka, putting out a tiny flame dancing on the tip of a forelock. "'God' works in mysterious ways." She looked at Asshole with pity and sighed. "Poor bastard. You didn't stand a chance."

"Everything hurts," he groaned in a muffled voice, and twitched.

Nagisa brushed the ash off her skirt. "We should've picked a different song. You know, something a little more obscure but very much in-your-face."

"What would that be?" Mami asked.

"'Cool It Now'."

* * *

Later that night, Homura sat on top of her hill of flowers overlooking Mitakihara. In the crook of her arm was a stuffed plushie of the Angel of Valhalla chocobo, but for some reason it was an odd neon blue instead of its original white color scheme; and because it made the Clara dolls scatter willy-nilly whenever she showed it to them, she decided to name it Death Face ("because it would make even Metallica piss themselves raw with fear"). She didn't always bring him out, but now more than ever did she need his soft velvety comfort and button eyes.

In her hand was a little white flower. She sniffed hard, fingers hovering shakily above a petal. "I can do this," she mumbled. "I-I can do this…."

"What are you doing?" asked a familiar voice at her feet. She didn't need to look to know it was Kyubey. Again. The fucker didn't know when to stay dead.

"Dude, I'd get as far away from this place as possible if I were you," she said. "Depending on whether or not Madoka loves me, I may have to do something drastic!" Her voice cracked on the last word, and she choked back a sob.

Kyubey looked between the flower and Homura's crumpling face. If he were capable, he would have given her an odd look. "I don't get it."

"I don't expect you to. Just let a girl determine the path she must travel." She swallowed thickly. "Even if, in the end, we do become enemies." Taking in a deep breath, she took the petal between thumb and forefinger. "Alright. Take it easy, Homerun. One step at a time. Whatever we get, we're gonna take it like a boss because we're God. God and Overlord of the Brave New World."

She started plucking them. "She loves me…She loves me not…She loves me…She loves me not…She loves me—"

"Oh, I think I get it!" said Kyubey. "But Homura, there are eight petals on that flower. If you start with 'she loves me' and go from there, you'll end up with—"

"Shut the fuck up and lemme do this!" she whined. "Okay. Okay. Where were we? Right. She loves me not…She loves me…She loves me not—" Homura stopped and gazed down at the last petal in the cusp of her palm. It was white and small and lovely.

Her pupils dilated. Her breath came out in a tremor.

Again, Kyubey looked between the denuded flower to Homura's stunned face. "What did I tell you?" He sniffed. "Do you smell something burning—?"

_"FUCK SHIT COCK ASS TITTIES BONER BITCH MUFF PUSSY CUNT BUTTHOLE BARBARA STREISAND!"_

And then the hill was on fire. All the flowers were reduced to ashes, and there was nothing left of Kyubey to indicate he had ever been present.

The infernal sigil blazing bright and unholy beneath her, Homura crushed Death Face to her chest. "I'm not gonna cry," she wept. "I'm a boss! I'm a big, bad boss! And I'm not…gonna…." She hiccuped and fled, her wails echoing throughout the dark.

A few minutes later and after the flames subsided, Kyubey returned. He observed his surroundings and, unable to find a mere scrap of his copy to eat, sighed. "I still don't get it."


End file.
